The first time you tried to stand on both legs as a baby, you fell down. Was that your first failure in life, or did you simply get up and try again? Did your parents scold you for being bad, lazy, or incompetent? I’m certain they encouraged you. You kept trying until one day you stood on both feet and took your first steps, to the claps, smiles, and adoring praise of your parents.
A baby learns how to walk because that’s a function of its nature. It achieves success in walking unassisted through the practice of trying to stand…
In a recent coaching session, my client asked me to send instructions on how to craft his “statements of self-truth.”
He was telling me about using affirmations and trying to think positive. We had a discussion about how those words and actions are mostly meaningless because they don’t connect with truth.
When you affirm, “I am rich, and powerful, and loveable” — an all-too-common affirmation — what reality does that connect with if you are currently not rich, or powerful, or loveable?
If you don’t feel self-love, your brain won’t believe that affirmation. If you’re $50K in debt, the reactive…
One of my coaching clients is a gay man who is struggling with deeply rooted, unresolved feelings of gay shame that were triggered by a recent traumatic event in his life.
Many gay men have dealt with feeling unaccepted in society, be that in their family, at work, in sports, or in their religion. My client, however, was dealing with something much deeper that went to the core of self-love and ultimately separation anxiety manifesting as a loss of self-control.
Based on something he said, I asked,
“What do you believe to be true about a partnered relationship?”
Growing up, Lachlan Smith was a passionate cricketer and a fan. After coming out, he gave up the sport, not seeing it as compatible with being a gay man. The lack of gay role models and the banter of the cricket dressing room made it an uncomfortable sport for him to participate in.
Many years past and Lachlan rediscovered his passion for the game in his late thirties. He came out at his new club and has since enjoyed his time there. However, something was missing. In 2020, at the height of the pandemic, Lachlan had the idea to set…
What If what you believe you must be responsible for has been dictated by others? Is that truly freedom?
In order for us to have freedom we need to understand its dualistic nature. I might fight for LGBTQ equality, but the concept of equality is dualistic in nature. Who makes this determination? Do some have less so that others can have more?
The example of Lady liberty, blindfolded and holding the scales of justice, is a useful visual metaphor to consider at this juncture.
In our world of 2021, I would hazard the statement that liberty wears no blindfold. …
“If I Could Read Only 7 Books for The Rest of My Life, I’d Read These”
“If You Do Any Of These 5 Things, You Aren’t As Creative As You Thought”
“My Results From My 30 Day Medium Challenge”
“To Become a Better Human, Read a Novel”
“How to Write Faster: 10 Ways to Skyrocket Your Writing Speed”
“6 Reasons Why I Abandoned My 15k Follower Instagram Account”
My profile, my algorithm. Fuck yours! What shows up in my feed might not in yours, but if I were a betting man (a betting queer? a betting faggot?) I’d wager 1,000…
Lachlan Smith grew up in Australia before moving to the UK in his early twenties. Growing up, he was a passionate cricketer and a fan. After coming out, he gave up the sport, not seeing it as compatible with being a gay man. The lack of gay role models and the banter of the cricket dressing room made it an uncomfortable sport for him to participate in.
Having rediscovered his passion for the game in his late thirties, Lachlan Smith came out at his new club and has since enjoyed his time there. However, something was missing. In 2020…
An inflection point can be defined as a time of significant change in a situation or a turning point.
Listen to the podcast for the full story.
About two months ago, I decided to withhold Part IV of my “Where You Stand” moral philosophy article series. It was titled, “Towards a Harmonizing, Universal Morality Based in the Tao Te Ching.” It was close to 4,500 words and I had submitted it to one of the philosophy publications on Medium.
The article felt like something approaching a philosophy — or at least an approach to living with personal and moral…