Are You a “Yes-person” Who Says Yes to Everything, Because If You Don’t, People Won’t Love and Respect You?

Darren Stehle
2 min readMay 19, 2022
Photo by Philippe Yuan on Unsplash

You’re not a doormat that has to accept every soul at your door!

If you’re LGBTQ2+, you might have started saying YES at a young age to everyone to deflect attention from who you are — to stay hidden and deflect attention from your true identity.

Has Saying YES Become a Bad Habit?

You’ve said yes so often, keeping friends, family, and co-workers happy, to such an extent that no one really knows who you are.

Everyone knows you as the person they can rely on. This makes you feel worthy and accepted at face value, but not for the truth of whom you really are. Instead, you’re accepted as the great guy/gal who takes care of everything.

In short, you’re accepted for your actions — not for who you are.

Saying YES allows for opportunity.

But how do you say yes only to the opportunities that best serve you?

Can you say yes to self-care and taking care of your needs, before saying yes to something just because you were asked? Can you say yes to a request, when in fact you’re actually saying no? In other words, play a trick with your mind.

Allow yourself to say yes… to saying no.

Say YES to what serves your needs before the needs of others.

Say yes to get your needs met first. Say yes to what you love about yourself that makes you know you’re enough. Find ways to say yes to your truth, even when others expect you to do what you’ve always done.

When you say yes to your truth first, you establish boundaries that serve and protect your needs, values, and identity.

Discover my IDEA(tion) approach to personal transformation.

Designed to help you gain Insight, Direction, and Emotional Alignment so you can efficiently accomplish your goals and enjoy more happiness, freedom, and peace of mind. Contact me for a free session.

Darren Stehle

Thinking Partnership Coach for Queer Change-Makers. I write about: actionable self-mastery; morals & ethics; LGBTQ+ rights & advocacy.