Barry, I’ve written and spoken extensively about the challenge of “straight-acting” for gay men. Something I discovered was the need for self-forgiveness. Sounds paradoxical: why do WE need to forgive ourselves? When we internalize during our most formative period of emotional and brain development that we don’t belong, we deal with a host of behavioural challenges later in life. We can get over them on an intellectual level, but there needs to be deeper work. I wrote about my eary understanding of this topic here:
From Sissy Boys to Straight-Acting Gay Men
Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance Starts with Understanding Our Gay Shame.
And in a recent post, I looked at how gay shame, internalized homophobia, and minority stress affects us as a community:
How We Treat Each Other As Queer Leaders
An invitation to disrupt the status quo and elevate hearts and minds.
Thankfully, we are seeing more and more ‘men’ openly challenge gender and sexual representation. This is the long road to change, ie that younger people can now more easily see adults acting in a variety of ways that challenge heteronormativity. That they can see these images on TV, Instagram, is something I never saw until almost my 20’s; and what I saw was limited at best.