Emad Abdulrahim I just read your story,
Ten years of friendship flushed down the toilet
The short story of coming out to my friend.
Fuck! That’s heartbreaking! But…
You understand that it’s not about you. I hope you know that your friendship with your “former” best friend was NEVER a waste. He may or may not be able to rise above his beliefs.
It’s an issue of him not having the words and the frame that allow for, accept, and appreciate you as a gay man.
It is okay and valid for this to hurt. You have lost someone you loved.
But let me get to your question,
How does one know if they’re afraid, ashamed or very anxious to be successful? What does that mean in practical day to day life?
I don’t know if I have a simple answer to this, but I’ll try! :-)
Start with something you are NOT doing. It’s probably something you REALLY want to do in your life. You know that you want or need to do it, but you’re still not doing it.
It could be a big goal or dream. The sort of thing that you think, “OF COURSE I want this! So why am I avoiding it?”
What are you avoiding doing?
What are you distracted by?
What’s your BIGGEST fear?
Are you thankful when someone does something for you, small or large? Or do you say, “No you shouldn’t do that for me.”
There is a lot of “unboxing” to do here to get to the root of your question. You also need to know what “success” means to you. Have you accomplished things in your life that you wanted? Did you have that as a goal? Did you celebrate when you achieved the goal? Did you “feel” successful?
Happy to chat more here, but I feel you might benefit more from a deeper conversation. If that appeals to you, I’d invite you to book an exploration session with me.