How to Let Go of Expectations About Achieving Your Goals

When you shift your focus to the process and the journey, you activate your motivation.

Darren Stehle


You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Love the process and not the goal,” tossed around when it comes to achieving your dreams.

Let’s take a closer look at what that really means.

The Pitfall of Goal Attachment

A couple of years ago, I found myself in a constant struggle to make progress on my goals.

I was self-employed, and the tasks I hated were piling up. It felt like I should be much further ahead in my business, and I blamed myself for not being there. The more I resisted the daily grind, the more drained I felt.

Have you ever had days when you’re stuck doing tasks that aggravate you?

This was a mindset problem, and I realized it was of my own making.

I’ve talked before about how we tend to identify with our difficulties. It’s a common challenge for entrepreneurs, especially those flying solo. If you don’t have a team yet, you’re wearing all the hats to make your business grow.

My coaching clients faced similar challenges.

Some clients resisted the daily habits needed for improved health, while others grappled with fear of change and stepping out of their comfort zone. The common thread? We resist investing energy in changing our behaviour.

The Power of Falling in Love with the Process

Let’s get back to that expression: “Fall in love with the process, not the goal.”

While it’s motivating to embrace the process, you should never become emotionally dependent on the goal itself. The key is to fall in love with the doing — the actions — and accepting, trusting, and believing that your actions will lead to your desired outcome.

Love is a powerful emotion that fuels motivation, putting you in an open and receptive state.



Darren Stehle

Empowering change-makers in critical thinking: Align with your values, develop self-mastery, and contribute to an equitable & just society.