How to Stop Red-Lining Into the Negative and Destructive Emotions You Want to Avoid

Learn how to create emotional recipes for how you want to feel — a free Personal Evolution Process webinar.

Darren Stehle
4 min readJun 29, 2021

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Have you ever been minding your own business, when suddenly someone or something happens, and you fly off the handle into the emotional red zone? It could show up as upset, frustration, sadness, anger, shame, or rage. Whatever the feeling, these are emotional states most of us would like to avoid, or at least have better control over.

How often, or how easily, do you experience red zone emotional states like the ones mentioned above? Do you experience those feelings almost immediately, at the flick of a switch, or does it take you some time to move from feeling great into upset, calm into angry, or happy into sad?

Are you the kind of person people call hot-headed? Are you aware that you over-react or are easily triggered, only to regret your lack of control after the fact? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I have a strategy to help you create awareness and control over red-lining into undesired emotional states.

Create Emotional Recipes for How You Want to Feel — A Personal Evolution Process.

This process puts the expression, “Don’t worry, be happy” on notice. It’s a nice idea, but to be happy, or to feel emotions that embody and elevate happiness, we can’t just not worry. We must actively practice managing our emotions to be and to feel at our very best. So, in this case, the better expression is: “Practice makes for improvement.”

You have far more control over how you want to feel than you might realize. What’s missing and needed from the equation is one’s active and conscientious preparedness, as well as awareness of the factors that fuel your undesired emotions. The longer it takes for you to cross over into the red zone, the better. That simply means you are well aware of emotional states you prefer to avoid, and you have some strategies in…

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Darren Stehle

Thinking Partnership Coach for Queer Change-Makers. I write about: actionable self-mastery; morals & ethics; LGBTQ+ rights & advocacy. DarrenStehle.com.