I can only imagine how hard it was for you to be present in that conversation with her. Of course you are entitled to your feelings, and what you have experienced — what you ARE experiencing while transitioning, makes you highly conscious of what others say about you. We want to feel safe, we want to feel love, and we want to be respected by those we feel close to.
The one thing about you that’s different from her, is that you know all of this, you know all the language around being transgender, you experience the discomfort, and so much more. She is outside of that experience, but I do hope she is trying her best to understand more.
However, what you wrote, your experience, and the results of that research show how much discord there is at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it has to remain that way.