Ken Knapp the closet, enforced by the status quo, is a powerful container. Add to that your 70 seasons and you have something that you have become accustomed to, even while disliking it at the same time. The ability to change though, is not something that has to diminish with many years. New habits can be formed to replace so-called bad habits, no matter how long one has been practicing the old ones. Sure, as we age, some things become more challenging, but half of change is what we believe and/or tell ourselves that we can or cannot do. The rest is practicing the new ideal.
So whatever you chose is your choice. Perhaps recognizing who you are and what you have finally accepted is enough — alternatively, it could be that this acceptance is but one of many changes to come! :-)