Regarding your friend and what she said, I have some thoughts, but I share them cautiously, since I don’t want to offend.
Yes, she is stuck in a status quo framework of what it means to her about being a lesbian. Yes, she appears afraid of what others might think of her. However, she tried to share with you her confusion. She was processing something new to her and trying to overcome her own ignorance.
This could be a new beginning for her, knowing you and realizing that she can have feelings for someone outside of what she thought she knew; what she thought she was attracted to; different from who she thought she was. So in fact, in that conversation, she was dealing with a new awareness (that felt like a conflict because she was only beginning to process it), that challenged her sexual orientation.
It almost seems to be that she found herself at a crossroad of sexual orientation that she’d never been to before, but might consider crossing. I could be wrong, but not being in your shoes, and only reading a snipped of what she said, that’s what was running through my head.