Yet, while the only thing we’re trying to make you realize is that we’re feeling attacked, you come back with an “I hear you, but”, which is something you so nuance-lessly dismissed as toxic behavior before.
Gust van de Wal
Right there in that sentence is your privilege…
To repeat the MLK quote I used earlier, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Would it harm you so horribly to swallow your pride for this one moment in your personal history, to recognize that you “might not be aware” of your own racism, past or present, and to allow — to allow for the possibility for someone to express what they are seeing as thier truth?
Instead of feeling defensive and feeling the need to justify why you feel that way and need an apology from a Black Person, step back and notice the feeling. Where does it come from? What does it really mean? How would it feel if you realized that your defensiveness, in this singular situation, is not important, or perhaps less important in the grand scheme of moving forward towards equality and humane rights?
I am not saying what the author said was right or wrong, but I am choosing to support his position given the workings of systemic racism and the very long history that has made that racism so pervasive that a White Person can’t for one moment recognize that their feelings of defensiveness are not as important, at this pivotal moment in history, than the greater good of abolishing racism.
Now, if you focus on doing the work to rid your country, your systems of government, your Pride organizations of racism, you will no longer have people who feel that every single white gay male they have ever met has ruined Pride for them.
Finally, for a much deeper discussion about this, I invite you to listen to my podcast, “Reconfiguring Pride to Savour Black Lives in 2020 and Beyond” which will shed a lot more light on this issue with a very deep review of the history of racism, Pride, and the very real and personal experiences of a Black Person.