Thanks for sharing, Christopher Start. You’re being vague :-) ha! So let me see how I can help:
Let’s start at the end (and you might not need/want to respond, this might just be food for thought). “living the different lives needs to stop.” Why? What does living different lives feel like? How does it affect you? Who are you in each of these lives?
Write this down, pen in hand, to make a deeper connetion. Look at what living like this is detracting from your core self, your authenticity.
Your authenticity is when you are at peace with who you are. Nothing to hide. No longer searching.
Next, who do you think you are? Yes, on an intellectual level. Then, who do you FEEL you are.
Play with this. Try not to get stressed about it. It’s a process that may take time.