Why Your Actions Are Not Your Own

To change our unconscious actions we have to notice our behaviours.

Darren Stehle 🏳️‍🌈
6 min readNov 9, 2017

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Has this ever happened to you? You had a long day working. It was stressful. A bunch of things went wrong. You get home late at night, over-hungry. You don’t feel like cooking dinner — you’re too tired. You open the fridge and there’s a piece of chocolate cake, cookies, chips, or whatever junk food you love staring back at you. You know they’re bad for you. You know you don’t want to eat them.

Looking at those “bad choices” you think,

“No, I don’t want to have that. I want to be good. I know that if I eat dessert so late at night I’m gonna have a crappy sleep. I’m gonna wake up with a headache in the morning.”

But then another part of you says,

“What a fucking shitty day! I deserve to feel better. I want to chill out so I’m just gonna eat that dessert. I don’t care if it’s 9pm at night.”

You give in and you eat it. Afterwards you feel like crap, even ashamed with yourself. It’s happened to me and it happens to everyone.

But why?

Is it because your willpower sucks? Or that you have no motivation? Are you weak-willed? What’s wrong with you?

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Darren Stehle 🏳️‍🌈

I coach leaders, changemakers, and social entrepreneurs to make a difference by ethically supporting a common humanity of dignity and equity. DarrenStehle.com